Where is Good in the midst of this experience that hurts so bad?
This is a question that I asked myself when I used to deny any bad that appeared in my life. Instead of just accepting what was, I always wanted to find and focus on the things that might make me feel better or at least keep my head above water.
Today I think I realize that the good is the gift of going through the hurt to the other side, where the peace that always is, awaits your attention of it.
I have recently realized that it was not a lack of self love or esteem that I 'suffered' from, as my spiritual "leader" insisted, but a confusion resulting in the chaos and all the while forcing myself to search the whys and reasons I did not love myself. All along I knew something was not right; in hindsight it was because I accepted family's, community's, boss's opinions over me, relegating my inner knowing to the back seat.
That is what is coming alive in me again... I no longer believe in the separation so many seem to think still exists, and I have glimpses of my journey ahead. And yes, I do love myself, every inch from head to toe, all of my quirks, my unique mind and open heart.
Yes, there is always good in any painful situation, but it's not something to be looked for until the belief that caused the pain is changed. But it is something to look forward to!
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